Akatsuki PreSchool!
by BandPunk
Summary: Pein is married to Konan, Konan wants a baby but Pein does not, how far will Konan go to get her dream? by turning the Akatsuki into babies? there will be pairings read to find out who, and how will pre-school for the Akatsuki go?
1. Dont cry Tobi's here!

**AKATSUKI-PRESCHOOL!!**

**Hello, this is my second story, hope you enjoy, please review!!**

**The ending may be a little rocky...but please bear with me people!!**

**There will be pairings read to find out, the first is Pein x Konan but there will be yaoi!!**

"OK HE'S HERE…TOBI YOU REMEMBER THE PLAN RIGHT?"

The blue haired, female, ninja, Konan yelled, pulling away from the window and closing the curtains.

"Hai, Tobi remembers, because TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!"

"Yes Tobi is a very, very good boy, now hurry he's getting out of his car!"

"Hai!!" Tobi yelled happily turning the light switch down to dim and putting in a romantic soundtrack CD that he had stole from Itachi's room earlier that day.

"What, the…why is the door locked?" Pein grumbled searching for his keys in his Akatsuki cloak.

"Ah hah!" Pein said pulling out a chain connected to several small keys.

Pein opened the door immediately noticing the dimmed lights, "d Kakuza! didn't pay the electricity bill again, I presume!"

"And who put Itachi's secret CD in the stereo?"

Konan sighed unhappily, grabbing a bread roll from the basket that laid on the table in front of her and chucked it as hard as she could making it smack Pein in the side of the head.

"OW WHAT THE-" Pein stopped immediately, jaw nearly about to drop on the floor at the sight in front of him, there was Konan on the couch spread out on her side elegantly, her usual Akatsuki cloak, was opened revealing Konan wearing a pair of black thigh boots, and sexy black lingerie with red clouds on them matching her cloak.

"K-Ko-Kona..n…y…your…" Pein stuttered gasping for air about to pass out from major nosebleed.

Konan stopped him by seductively walking over to him, and grabbing his arm pulling him back over to the couch with her.

"I…I…you, I UHHHHHH" Pein managed before being pulled into a rough passionate kiss by Konan, Pein's once wide eyes were now closed, and his once tense hands were now wrapped around Konan's neck gently.

Pein was about to slip his cloak off until he was interrupted by Tobi skipping into the room joyfully with one very big plate of spaghetti, "sooo did you tell him about the plan yet??" Tobi asked giggling childishly.

"TOBI!!" Konan yelled slapping her forward, Tobi suddenly stopped, examining the current situation before grabbing his head with both hands and screaming, "AHHHHH, YOU…HIM…YOUR…ABOUT T-TO…KISS!!" Pein squinted his eyes at him "uhh we already did" Tobi immediately covered his one eye before running out of the room as quickly as he could.

Konan chuckled a little then leaned back up against Pein.

"Now where were we?" Konan said sweetly leaning in for another kiss

"What does he mean by plan?" Pein asked pushing Konan away from him roughly.

Konan swallowed hard "Oh ha ha you know how silly Tobi can be sometimes…making up crazy ideas all the time, I have no clue what he's talking about"

Konan laughed nervously scratching the back of her head "right?"

"…Wrong...now I will ask this one more time…WHAT PLAN" Pein repeated folding his arms, getting fed up with Konan's little games.

Konan dropped her head, slightly blushing "ummm well we've been together for a few years now right"

"yeah" Pein said, still looking sternly at her, Konan blushed more at this "well and you love me right?"

"yeah" Pein agreed, Konan nearly choked "well ummm I was maybe well uhhh thinking we could uhhh…haveababy…" Konan said so soft and so fast that Pein almost couldn't make it out what she had said, but to Konan's luck, he could.

Pein sighed "Konan how many times must I tell you, we…are…not…having…a…baby!!"

"Well I know but I mean…why not there soooooooooo cute!!" Konan giggled slightly hugging the pillow next to her.

Pein shook his head hardly amused, "you know very well as much as me why…for gods sake we are an S ranked organization of ruthless criminals, why would we want or need a baby and also how would we ever find the time or money!!"

"humph well now your just acting like Kakuza!!" Konan pouted.

Pein sighed "I tried to be nice" he stood up silently blowing out the candle in the center of the table "but…I-" Konan started but Pein cut her off sharply "end of discussion, good night" Pein said leaving the room. "G…good night" Konan's said, her voice was shaking slightly as she felt a tear roll down her cheek, she quickly brushed it away before anyone would see. "Ca-can To-Tobi come in, Tobi is a good boy" Tobi asked poking his head from around the corner of the hall looking at her, "uhh sure, Tobi" Konan said closing her cloak back up.

Konan swallowed hard "You didn't hear any of that, did you Tobi? Konan asked sadly.

Tobi held up both hands defensively "Tobi is a good boy, it was an accident, please don't be mad"

Konan sighed "It's ok Tobi, it…it's just…huh" Konan suddenly burst out into tears.

"It's ok, please don't be sad, Tobi will make you feel better, because Tobi is a GOOD BOY!!" Tobi said hugging Konan tightly.

"Th-thanks Tobi you truly are a good boy" Konan smiled slightly through her tears.

Suddenly the door burst open.

"WHAT THE, MY CD, I NEW I COLD HEAR AT THE BEGINNING" Itachi yelled running in the taking the CD out of the stereo, "I mean…I uhhh…this is just" Itachi stuttered blushing as he noticed Konan and Tobi staring at him.

He slowly walked up to them…and kicked the table breaking it in half…"…because it lacks hatred…"

**HOPE YOU LIKED IT**

**PLEASE REVIEW,**

**HOPE YOU READ MY OTHER CHAPTERS.**

**KONAN WANTS A BABY, BUT HOW FAR WILL SHE GO TO GET ONE??**


	2. Pancakes and scrolls!

Akatsuki Pre-school is soon to be in session

**Thanks for all the reviews!!**

**Sorry it took so long for a new chapter, but I was on Vacation.**

**Though I'm glad to be back.**

"Who wants pancakes?"

Konan asked cheerfully holding out a large frying pan stacked with slightly burnt pancakes.

"OOOOHHHHHH ME!! ME!!"

Both Deidara and Itachi yelled at once, holding there arms high in the air each attempting to be higher then the other, and glaring daggers at each other.

Konan giggled slightly putting a medium stack of pancakes on each of their plates, they were always her most eager and early customers of the day…well excluding Tobi of course, but Zetsu had to go out and do some spy work, and when he offered Tobi to come…well must I say more.

"HEY, YOU GAVE DEIDARA A BIGGER PILE THEN ME!!"

Itachi screamed out like a small pissed off child, still glaring at Deidara.

Konan sighed talking in a sweet voice "That's because you never finish all of your food Itachi, and besides Deidara only got one more then you"

Konan looked at Itachi's pissed look then over to Deidara's who was giving Itachi a superior cocky look.

"Yaaahhhh Itachi you cant handle this many pancakes, you're too little!!"

Deidara said rather smugly giving Itachi a teasing look.

"OH SHUT IT MOUTH FREAK, YOUR ONLY ONE AND A HALF YEARS OLDER THEN ME!!"

Itachi yelled it the artists face.

"Yah, but I'm still one year old enough to eat this pancake, and yourrrr not!!"

Deidara cracked rather enjoying Itachi's lack of patience.

"YOU BETTER SHUT UP BEFORE I SHUVE THAT PANCAKE UP YOUR-"

Itachi was cut off by Konans hand over his mouth.

Konan laughed awkwardly "calm down Tachi…finish your pancakes and if you're still hungry then you can get some more later…"

She turned to Deidara giving him a warning look.

"And Deidara you know better then to pick on Itachi"

She then looked at both of them folding her arms "understood?"

They both nodded.

"Good then I'll go make more" Konan said walking over to the to the stove again.

'Pein may have said no kids, but he's never seen these two at breakfast!!'

"Hmmm" Konan thought an evil clever idea slowly forming in her mind.

"You want some honey on your pancakes?"

Itachi whispered making sure Konan wasn't listening.

"Honey??"

Deidara asked swallowing a mouthful of pancakes.

Itachi couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"Or should I just put it on your face so the ants don't crawl up and bite your candy a!!"

"Zetsu-san AREEEEE WEEEE THEREEE YETTTTT??"

Tobi ranted, following slowly behind Zetsu as they walked through the forest.

"No Tobi for the millionth time…WE ARE NOT THERE YET!!"

Zetsu yelled, stopping and turning to give Tobi a pissed off look.

"It was just a question…" Tobi mumbled looking down at his feet not to look into his partners ticked off eyes.

Zetsu sighed heavily turning back around and continuing on.

"Besides…Tobi's a good boy"

Tobi whispered to himself.

-Do you have the stuff-

-Yah…you got the money-

-Show me the stuff fi-

"ZETSU I HEAR SOMEO-"

Tobi was stopped short as Zetsu grabbed Tobi holding a hand tight over his moth and pulling him near a tree were he hid them by blending in with the tree.

"mmm…mhg..MJNNMMN"

Tobi ranted frustrated.

Zetsu let go of his partner's mouth for a second.

"Zetsu-san who are those guys?"

Tobi asked curiously.

Zetsu shook his head "…I don't know"

Zetsu looked over at the men studying their features.

One of the people looked about in his twenties, he was average height but very thin, and had a narrow face he had long dark brown hair pulled up into a high messy ponytail.

He had a black mask covering the majority of his face except for both of his sinister dark brown eyes that shone with greed and hate, he was wearing a normal leaf ninja outfit with a green vest and dark blue pants.

The other ninja was a female.

She seemed a little younger then the man most likely about 16, Zetsu thought.

She had waist long silky black hair, long straight bangs hung in her face.

You couldn't see her eyes though since she had a Sound village headband tied over both of her eyes.

She wore long black thigh boots, so high you couldn't see any of her legs.

She also had on a Very short red skirt with a slit cut on the side, and a dark red mesh shirt with a seeable black tank top under it.

(Yes I know I detail a lot)

She was holding a large glowing scroll in her arms.

The man with her stared greedily down at the scroll.

He reached out an extended hand to take the scroll, only to have it snatched hastily away by the girl.

She smiled "I may be blind, but I'm not stupid"

"Now I brought what you wanted…so where's the money??"

The girl smiled mockingly cuddling the scroll to her chest.

He gave her a disgusted look but the grinned, "So this really is the legendary scroll of youth?"

He asked pulling out a rolls and rolls of cash.

"Yes, and this was not easy to acquire so you better not cheat out on me with the money!!"

She snapped.

"…Fine…" He said handing the girl the money.

She quickly flipped through the wads making sure it was the right amount.

She smiled handing him the scroll, which he quickly scooped into his arms, about ready to run off with it.

"But remember, once you use the scroll all memories at the time will be lost until you return to you regular age"

She warned.

He nodded tucking it carefully under his arm, and with a puff of smoke they were both gone.

Zetsu let go of Tobi who was currently gasping for air.

'A thought popped into Tobi's mind as he remembered last night with Konan and the baby incident, Pein said they couldn't have a baby together, but what if Tobi could make the babies himself'

(Oh and yes I know that sounds wrong 0o)

"We…We-WE have to follow them Zetsu-san…take the scroll, money, K-Konan"

Tobi muttered still struggling to regain his breath.

Zestu's head snapped immediately over to Tobi.

"Did you just say Konan?"

Zetsu asked confused.

Tobi froze realizing what he had just said.

"Uhhhh…Uhhhh…N-No…I just said…Uhhhh"

A thought suddenly clicked to him.

"TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!!"

He screamed happily.

Zetsu rolled his eyes in response "well shut up then if we are going to steal it then they cant know were following them"

Tobi grinned squealing but quickly stopping "sorry Zetsu-san"

Zetsu merely rolled his eyes again "Just come on!!"

**OK sorry it took soooo long for an update but I just got back from my vacation in North Carolina!!**

**Also sorry if they story was kinda ehhh how do I say this??**

**Well I just hope it didn't suck!!**

**Sorry I was like writing this at 5:34am!!**

**Also I apologize that may stories may well you know drag on a bit without getting to the point but I swear they will be transformed into chibis by the next chapter.**

**Thanx for all the reviews again, hope I get more, and if you have any ideas for my next chapter feel free to share them, cuz so far I have no idea whats going to happen -- I'm lazy I know!!**


	3. Zetsu's meal!

**Thank you all soooo much for all the great reviews!!**

**Sorry for all the slow updates, but I've been very busy lately!!**

**I've joined the schools jazz and marching band, plus I'm already in my churches Cristian band and boy have I been exhausted lately. From both church practice to band camp which is like everyday...O.O...**

**Oh yah BTW: (YAY) I'm a freshmen this year...and it sucks XD!!**

**Our band director has been busy, so he's been leaving the seniors in charge of watching us and telling us what us to do during summer band, and well...must I say more??(PURE TORTURE!!)**

**Anywayyyyys thanks again for all of the reviews, threats, and ideas for other chapters!!D**

**Quick recap:**

Zetsu rolled his eyes in response "well shut up then! if we are going to steal it then they cant know were following them."

Tobi grinned squealing but quickly stopping himself "sorry Zetsu-san."

Zetsu merely rolled his eyes again "Just come on!!"

**End of recap:**

"AREEEEE WE THERE YET ZETSU-SAN??"

Tobi asked, whining like a small child.

"Tobi!...for the millionth time, NO WE ARE NOT THERE YET!!"

Zetsu screamed angrily, letting out a dangerous growl and turning his head slightly to give Tobi a death look.

Quickly regretting yelling that loudly, he mentally slapped himself, sighing deeply.

"Also keep your voice down Tobi, were never going to find the scroll if we keep yelling like that!!"

Zetsu snapped turning back around as they continued through the thick mess of tree's.

'THUMP'

Zetsu stopped suddenly, standing in the center of a large branch, and looking around at his surrounding.

"Did you hear that Tobi?"

Zetsu asked.

"...Hear something...whats wrong Zetsu-san do you sense something SCARY??"

Tobi asked standing next to him on the same branch.

Without answering Tobi's question Zetsu kneeled down on the branch laying the palm of his right hand down on the tree branch and closing his eyes tightly.

"Zetsu-san??"

Tobi yelled waving a hand in front of the plant man.

Zetsu suddenly raised himself to his feet staring at Tobi for a minuet, before turning and walking to the trunk of the tree, he stood there for a second, as if pondering something, before holding his hands up and forming an unusual hand sign and walking straight into the tree, leaving no trace behind him.

Tobi began to feel the back of his neck prick up, and sweat form on the palms of his hands.

"ZETSUUUU...ZESTU-SAN, WHERE DID YOU GO ZETSU-SANNN??...DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE ZETSU-SAN!!"

Tobi screamed panic-ally running up the tree trunk and beating it with both fists, where his partner previously disappeared into.

"OH NO, OH NO, OH NOOOOOOO, WHAT DO I DO I CANT BE HEAR ALONE WHAT IF THAT THING ZETSU-SAN HEARD COMES AFTER ME AND EATS ME AND THEN TH-THEN...MAKES ME EAT VEGETABLES!!"

Tobi screamed frantically pulling at his short black hair with both hands at the thought.

'THUMP'

"Huh??"

Tobi turned confusedly broken out of his little rant, to see where the noise was coming from.

'Maybe that's Zetsu-san, and he came back to save me from the vegetable monster'

Tobi thought leaning down on the branch, hidden behind the tree trunk staring down at where the noise was coming from.

"Heh, heh, ha, what ever made you think that I would ever let a b like you ever swindle me out of my money!!"

Tobi saw the man from before pant laughing hysterically as he slapped the girl from before harshly across the face, giving her a small gash across her cheek from where he had on his ring.

she let out a small yelp, bowing her head and clenching her lip tightly with her teeth, preventing her from crying.

**(And yes, I just found out today that blind people can cry!!)**

Tobi watched as then man continually struck the girl, each harder then the last.

"Hmmm...Deidara Calls it tough love when he hurts me...Wow he must love her bunches then !!"

Tobi said laughing quietly at his so called cute moment.

Still continuing to watch the so called couple, Tobi gasped when he noticed a familiar glowing scroll leaning up against a tree behind the man.

Then it all came back to him at once.

'Those are the same criminals from before!!'

Tobi noticed as the girl sat on her knees shaking violently, unable to move due to having her arms and legs were tied behind her.

"Soooo pretty!"

He heard the man purr in her ear.

"Such a shame you have to die!!"

He chuckled yanking the headband that was tied around her eyes off and gentally laying a hand on her cheek.

Tobi watched interestedly as he noticed a gleam of hate a anger shine through her creamy white brown eyes.

"Go to h!!"

She screamed biting as hardly down on his hand as she could refusing to let go."

"AHHHHHHHHH!!"

The man screamed angrily taking his free fist and beating her head trying to shake her off, failing as she continued to bite down harder with each hit that hit her head.

She mentally gaged as she tasted that vile tainted blood of the mans hand, pour into her mouth and onto the side of her face but still she refused to let go unwilling to let death be an option.

'Im not going to die like this, not now NOT BY HIM!!'

She thought, biting harder feeling the skin tear and rip.

The girl suddenly loosened her grip on the hand shocked when she heard the man let out another cry but this time not from anger but terror, and she realized the abuse to her head stopped.

She quickly released the hand, as she heard the body of the man drop to the ground like a ton of weights.

"Hehehehehehehe that was easy enough!"

Tobi giggled pulling his kunia that leader had given him for his birthday out of the mans head and placing it back in his cloak as he ran forward retrieving the scroll and holding it close to his body.

"Hehehe Zetsu-san and the rest of the Akatsuki will be soooo proud of me, I'm sorry Tobi for treating you like cr and saying that you were dumb!! your the best Tobi, WHY DON'T YOU JOIN THE AKATSUKI AS A FULL MEMBER NOW TOBI WE ALL LOVE YOU TOBI...LETS ALL BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER, LETS ALL GET SOME CANDY TO CELEBRATE HOW AWESOME YOU ARE TOBI..."

Tobi smiled as he mimicked his thoughts of how the Akatsuki would react to his achievement.

"Wh-who's there??"

The girl asked as she listened to the strange man continue on.

"HUH??"

Tobi turned around quickly looking at the girl through his orange mask.

"OHHHHH HIIII, LADYYYY, sorry but I think you boyfriends dead"

Tobi said kicking the man in the side to check.

"Yup he's dead"

Tobi said nodding his head, as if the girl could ever see him.

The girl shook angrily about to burst in to tears and start cussing at the thought of ever being with that vile man.

"THAT ISSSS NOT MY BOYFRIEND...YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING ACCUSATIONS ABOUT ME LIKE THAT...YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!!"

She screamed angrily,voice full of hatred.

Tobi gulped, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

"Oh well ok, lady...ummmm yah well I gotta go bye!!"

Tobi said waving about to take off running from the scary lady.

"W-WAIT...YOU CANT LEAVE ME HEAR LIKE THIS IM TIED UP...I'LL DIE HERE!!"

She screamed desperately, struggling to try to loosen the ropes, with no luck.

"Hmmmm...should I help the scary women who yelled at me??"

Tobi thought aloud, holding his thumb up to his chin, thinking of his decisions.

The women gulped thinking that he would just decide to leave.

"W-W-Wait i-I'm sorry please don't go I-I didn't mean to yell at you I you I just well really hate that man!!"

She pleaded willing to do anything to change his mind.

"Well that doesn't give you a right to yell at Tobi you meanie lady!!"

Tobi said crossing his arms and sticking out his tongue from under his mask.

"Yo-your right, uhhhh Tobi, I'm sorry!!"

Tobi said walking slowly over to her and kneeling down on one knee next to her to untie the ropes.

"Well ok lady, but you know you really shouldn't date people that you hate!!"

Tobi scolded in a rather disapproving voice.

"huuuuuuhhhhhh!!"

She grumbled trying to control her patience and anger.

Tobi helped her up as soon as he finished uniting her.

"Th-thanks..."

She stuttered trying to keep her balance from falling onto the floor.

"Tobi!"

A familiar voice called.

Tobi immediately spun around to see his Zetsu-san walking toward them.

Zetsu stopped as he noticed the dead man.

"Did you kill this man Tobi??"

Zetsu asked grabbing the man by the arm and slinging the limp corpse over his shoulder.

"Yeah I...EWWWWWW Zetsue-san your not going to eat him are you??"

Tobi asked out in a grossed out voice.

The girl shuttered at the thought.

"EAT HIM!!...YOU CANT EAT HIM...CAN YOU...NO-NO YOU C-CAN-"

The girl was cut off in mid sentence when she felt her head spin and she blacked out suddenly collapsing on the ground,

"hmmm, well why would I let it go to waste!!"

Zetsu said, licking at the mans bloody hand.

"But he is a human being"

The other half of his face said forcing the body to put the hand down.

**(OK when ever the heads talk again im going to use W for white and B for Black...easy enough right??"**

B-"It's part of our mission, what would you suppose we do give it a have a funeral for the criminal!!"

It said forcing the hand back up to it's face.

W-"Well noooo, and you don't have to be smart with me...I'm you!!"

Pulling it back down.

B-"Oh so now I'm SMART NOW!!"

W-"OK don't use that tone with me!!"

B-"WELL-"

The two half's of the head carried on.

Tobi ignored the argument picking the girl up into his arms and cradling her close to his chest as he walked through the thick Forrest.

He stopped suddenly under the biggest shadiest trees he could find, Zetsu not noticing their absence.

Tobi sighed gently laying her down on the soft damp grass.

He then stood hovering over her and staring for a few minuets before turning and walking a few feet slowly back.

"T-Tobi"

The girl mumbled still half asleep.

Tobi turned to look at her surprised, she was still awake.

"hmmmm??"

He asked.

She smiled slightly at his semi at their semi normal conversation.

"My names Hanabi"

She said falling back into a deep sleep.

"...Hanabi...

Tobi giggled to himself.

"Tobi's a good boy...Tobi saved Hanabi!!"

Tobi found himself absent mindedly repeatingthe name out loud as he walked back to where Zetsu was, as if not to forget.

He stopped suddenly as he saw Zetsu half leaning against a tree with the scroll under his arm and his other hand picking at his teeth, Tobi immediately noticed Zetsu's slightly bulging stomach.

"Zetsu-san wheres the man??"

Tobi asked looking around confused.

Zetsubelched suddenly as the black part of his face spoke proudly.

"I won!!"

**Ok hope you liked it, I wasn't soooo sure of this chapter, hope I didn't gross anyone out.**

**Oh and I know I said that they would be turned into chibis by this chapter but well as you can see this was pretty long and it would be hard to fit in and still be good.**

**I know the Hanabi and Tobi sounded like a romance but it wasn't intended to be trust me Tobi wont be with her...or will he ...lol...anywayssss tell me what you think...I would say the Akatsuki would be turned into chibis by the next chapter but I cant make promises.**

**Please review and tell me what you thought or if you have any ideas...again thanks for the reviews, hope you like it!!(.\\)**


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